He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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