I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
