I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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