And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
