she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
