Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
