your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
