And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
