we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
