I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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