T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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