Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
