Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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