What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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