I love black thongs
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
