I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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