I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
