Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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