Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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