love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
