hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
only you would photoshop your dick
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
