so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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