Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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