She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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