so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
