And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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