when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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