goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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