I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
