She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
