This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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