I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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