Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
