You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
