for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
