drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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