Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
