She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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