Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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