I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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