i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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