Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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