wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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