I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
