Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
