Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
