maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
