I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
