wanna go halves on a baby?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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