She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We are two peas in an std pod
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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