So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize