This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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