You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
