Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
