She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
my poor anus
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
