He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
